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Funny Urdu Poetry

Funny Urdu /Hindi Poetry

 

Tu chandramukhi main surajmukhi,
Tu mujhse dukhi main tujhse dukhi,
Jaa chat pe jaa chalang laga,
Tu bhi sukhi main bhi sukhi...!
Umeedon ki manzil toot gai,
Ankhon say ashkon ki dhara bah gai,
Aray tumhari bhi kia izzat rah gai,
jab class ki larkian bhAiyya kah gain,
Mujhey harr haal mai ab lamha lamha muskurana hai
k saali jee ne, karne eid Pakistan aana hai

hamesha se suna hai aafatain tanha nahee'n aatee'n
suna hai unkey shohar ne bhi unn k sath aana hai

ye wo saali hai jiss k ghar har ikk size k bachey hain
inhee'n bacho'n ne ghar mai aa k kya udham machana hai

yah'n tak bhi agar hota to mai itna na ghabhrata
k beghum k barhe bhayya ne bhi Masqat se aana hai

ye wo bhayya hai jiskey sath ik bhabhi bhi hoti hai
wo jiski shakhio'n ne aasmaa'n sar pe utthana hai

abhi susral ja kar saas jee ko sath lana hai
ye aisey hai k jaisey june mai Multan jana hai

abhi kuchh roz baqi hai ye ghar susral bann ne mai
abhi apni hukumat hai abhi apna zamana hai

sunati hai mujhe beghum hamesha aik hi lecture
merey pyaro'n k aane par ye ghar kaisey chalana hai

kisey shopping karani hai kisey khali ghumana hai
kisey burgur khilane hain kisey boofey khilana hai

wo kehti hain, kahee'n se mai pajaro chheen kar lawoo'n
k motorway se ho kar abb to harr manzil pe jana hai

wo kehti hain ye apne hain inhain sab kuchh dikhana hai
inhain Gilgit k rustey se Muree tak le k jana hai

wo kehti hai k Bakra, Oont Gaye teeno karne hain
nirali shaan se iss Eid ko hamm ne manana hai

wo beghum hain hamesha hukm hi uss ne chalana hai
mai shohar hoon merey gham ka wahi qissa purana hai

ajab hairan ho kar sochta rehta hoo'n mai aksar
mujhe kuchh yaad rakhna hai mujhe kuchh bhool jana hai

ye bakrey ki nahee'n hai apni qurbani hai asif jee
kaho abb ghar mai rehna hai k ghar se bhag jana hai
Na Ye Chemistry Hoti , Na Mein Student Hota
Na Ye Lab. Hoti Na Ye Accident Hota

Abhi Practical Mein Aaye Nazar Ek Ladki
Sundar Thi Naak Uski Test Tube Jaisi
Baaton Mein Uski Glucose Ki Mithas Thi
Sanson Mein Ester Ki Khushbu Bhi Sath Thi

Aankhon Se Jhalakta Tha Kuch Is Tarah Ka Pyaar
Bin Piye Hi Ho Jata Tha Alcohol Ka Khumar
Benzene Sa Hota Tha Uski Presence Ka Ehsas
Andhere Mein Hota Tha Radium Ka Abhas

Nazrein Milleen, Reaction Hua
Kuch Is Tarah Love Ka Production Hua
Lagne Lage Us Ke Ghar Ke Chakkar Aise
Nucleus Ke Charon Taraf Electron Hon Jaise

Us Din Hamare Test Ka Confirmation Hua
Jab Uske Daddy Se Hamara Introduction Hua
Sun Kar Hamari Baat Woh Aise Uchal Pade
Ignition Tube Mein Jaise Sodium Bhadak Uthe
Woh Bole, Hosh Mein Aao, Pahchano Apni Auqat
Iron Mil Nahin Sakta Kabhi Gold Ke Sath

Ye Sun Kar Tuta Hamare Armanon Bhara Beaker
Aur Hum Chup Rahe Benzaldehyde Ka Kadwa Ghoont Pi Kar
Ab Us Ki Yaadon Ke Siwa Hamara Kam Chalta Na Tha
Aur Lab Mein Hamare Dil Ke Siva Kuch Aur Jalta Na Tha
Zindagi Ho Gayee Unsaturated Hydrocarbon Ki Tarah
Aur Hum Phirte Hain Awara Hydrogen Ki Tarhan....!!
Bill To Pagal Hai.......
Bill Deewana Hai.....
Achhe Bure Softwares Banata Hai Yahi,
Hasata He Yahi, Rulata Hai,
Usme Phir 'Bugs' Daalta Hain Wohi,
Aur Solutions Bhi Nikalta Hai,
Bill To Pagal Hai.......
Bill Deewana Hai.....

Is Bill Ki Baton Mein Jo Aate Hain,
Woto Oolloo Ban Jate Hain,
Software To Dusare Bhi Banate Hain,
Banake Magar Kho Jate Hain,
Hmmm Bill To Pagal Hai.......
Bill Deewana Hai.....

Softwares Ko Main Na Pehchanoonga,
Working Bhi Na Mein Uski Janoonga,
Microsoft Ka Logo Bass Mein Dekhoonga,
Bill Jo Kahega Wohi Manoonga.
Bill To Pagal Hai.......
Bill Deewana Hai.....

Bill Ka Kehna Hum Sab Maane,
Bill Na Kisi Ki Maane,
Uski Strategy Jaan Li Hamne,
Ek Wohi Na Jaane.
Bill To Pagal Hai.......
Bill Deewana Hai.....

Chhoro Ye Bill Sab Kahaniya,
Bugs Ki Hain Sab Nishaniya,
Programmers Ki Sari Pareshaniya,
Is Bill Ki Hain Ye Meherbaniya.
Hmmm Bill To Pagal Hai....
Bill Deewana Hai.....
Itnay Paray Hain Ab K Danday Teri Galli Main
Arman Ho Gaey Sab Thandey Teri Galli Main

Aik Haath Main Hay Kanghi Zulfain Sanwartay Hain
Ab Kiya Batain Zalim Kesay Guzaartay Hain
Sunday Teri Galli Main,Monday Teri Galli Main

Seenay Par Hath Rakh K Tujh Ko Pukaartay Hain
Jab Maartay Hain Pathar Munday Teri Galli Main
Kar Lain gay Khud Kushi Hum One Day Teri Galli Main

Hum Dhoond Lain gay Koi Deedaar Ka Bahana
Baicha Karain Geh Ab Hum Anday Teri Galli Main
Gher ke kamon se ghabra ker
apni job se aajiz aa ker
6 hafte ki chutti pa ker
ker ke gher sunsaan gai hai
biwi pakistan gai hai

sone ke set banwaye gi
shaan masale bhi laye gi
suit bohut se silwaye gi
silk ke le ke thaan gai hai
biwi pakistan gai hai

aish karon gi amma ke gher
kaam karain ge noker chaker
car main le jaye ga shofer
le ke yeh arman gai hai
biwi pakistan gai hai

pannu main rehte hain aakil chacha
changa manga main taya hai
sab se mil ker ana hai
bana ke sare plan gai hai
biwi pakistan gai hai

boli rehna ache soher
dafter se seedhe ana gher
jate jate haath main de
biwi pakistan gai hai

trah trah ke khane paka ker
bher dala sara freazer
take main na khaon bahir
kerk ke poora etminan gai hai
biwi pakistan gai hai

ik din phone kiya us ke gher
bole us ke mama asgher
woh to le ke sara tabber
aaj subah hi multan gai hai
biwi pakistan gai hai

dhoop or germi se aa ker tang
mela huwa jab us ka rang
apni ik saheli ke sang
wahan se kaghan gai hai
biwi pakistan gai hai

aati hai us ki email baraber
kehti hai mujhe ko bhejo doller
phas mushkil main jaan gai hai
hoton ki mare muskan gai hai
biwi pakistan gai hai...!!!
Patharr kyun marte ho, pura pahaar maar do
Hum yuheeen mar jayenge, sirf ek baar aankh maar do
Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha hai
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai
Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai
Are humein to apno ne loota.........

gairo mein kaha damm tha.....

meri haddi waha tooti....

jahan hospital band tha.....


Mujhe jis ambulance mein daala.......

uska petrol khatam tha.....

mujhe rikshey mein isliye bithaya....

kyoki uska kiraya kam tha.......


Mujhe doctor's ne uthaya....

nurso mein kaha damm tha.......

Mujhe jis bed per litaya....

uske neeche bomb tha.........


Mujhe to bomb se uraya.....

goli mein kaha damm tha....

mujhe to sadak per dafnaya

qaburstan main MQM ka function tha.

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